I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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