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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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