Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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