Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
