I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
