had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
