i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
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