fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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