Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
