Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm bleeding and have questions
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