And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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