I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
