I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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