im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
