are you still at the devil's house?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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