for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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