so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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