I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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