Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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