whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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