so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
