i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
