I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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