I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
