Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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