He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
