Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
