I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
