I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
