I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
