I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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