Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
