Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
