whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
