I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Shame is for Republicans.
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