..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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