We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
