she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
As shirtless as possible
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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