It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
