I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
