What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
