Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
