Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
