literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
