Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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