This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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