tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
