Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
