I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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