i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
