Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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