Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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