I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
